A Talk With Grandpa

I soar through this life with a confidence in my word. I've spent most of my conversational life just like most of you: with a will to be right. Because it feels good to know, control, and be the expert in any situation. But in all arguments/ conversations, someone has to be right, and someone has to be wrong. And it's easy to be right; a sense of pride comes from its birth. It feels good. But when you have to bare the feeling of being wrong, it's quite the opposite. For something so common, you think we'd be masters at accepting our ignorance; but instead we face our ignorance with arrogance (me too).

Rather than taking a loss with grace and acknowledgement, I would take it with embarrassment and emotion; rarely learning something lasting from the altercation. And this is how I confronted the feeling of being wrong my whole life. That is until I started spending more meaningful time with my grandfather: a ruff and tuff cowboy who has led a life full of accomplishment, change, and of course, failure. Everyone has lived a life filled with failure, I have always have known that; but once I finally started paying attention to my grandfather, I noticed that how devastating a failure is, directly correlates to how you process it. Responding to a loss with bitterness and anger is destructive to your own life; assuring you will walk yourself into the same situation once again. But if you're able to set ego aside, you could take away life-altering information from a seemingly small argument.

With my grandparents, there is never a meaningless moment; no life wasted around people who value it. For my grandma, this means encouraging connection, work, and love in her immediate environment (and so much more). But grandpa has an ability to strike up the most heated of arguments, out of what seems to be a cold, stale room; and he does this often. This is an interesting and exciting way to learn from the people around you: ask the hard questions, to find the raw answers. Sometimes uncomfortable, but always meaningful. My brother and I were on our phones in the living room when my grandpa stomped in. The mood was getting a little too boring, so I knew exactly what was coming; grandpa then asked one of those hard questions. And by hard, I mean a question grandpa knows will get on our nerves. My brother and I simultaneously pocketed our phones and prepared for war.

During the duration of the conflict I looked and realized that this man was actually listening to me. Something which my ego hadn't even granted him. I was so confident I was right, why would I even listen to an opposition? I noticed after he spoke his mind, he stopped, and intently waited for a response. I although in a heated debate, he understood the point of conversation. You can tell when a person wants to listen. So I started following.

I don't even recall what the argument was about, I just remember how it ended: Filled with ego and confidence, I was raising my voice as a hammered off my final points. I finished kinda out of breath, but ready for whatever else this man had to say; so sure I was right. I looked my grandfather in his eyes, he smiled, let off a little chuckle and said: Alright, you got me. Conversation over.

I was so confused and humbled. I came into the conversation with an ego and a will to win. But left with the urge to take a loss to gracefully. It is important to be wrong - we all are. But it's how you take it that defines you.

This man lived 80+ years to learn that somewhere along the way and give it to me. Keep your money and gold, I want that.

Listen to your elders not because they are always right, but because they have more experience of being wrong - MS Dhoni

Once There Was an Outlaw by Luke Bell